Jan 28, 2013

Detox Diary #7: cresting an emotional wave


So this evening's when it gets slightly more interesting... I attend a mediation class with Rajesh [the resident guru figure] and its a pretty vigorous, forceful type of breathing, to awaken the body's deep spiritual energy.

We go through the 7 chakras, and the weirdest thing happens: at the 4th chakra, the heart chakra, as we breathe I find myself crying and not being able to stop.
I concentrate my hardest on all Rajesh is saying; the inhalations, exhalations; one, two, breathe; but i still feel unsettled.

After we go through all 7 chakras, we lie down-- and I'm positively vibrating with all the energy (yes actually), and we concentrate on ailments in the body and soul we want to heal, while he recites a soothing yet powerful mantra. It seems to come from a place of deep sorrow--but I suppose you must know pain and sorrow to know joy.

I place my right hand, in turn, on my busted right ankle, my weirdly dislocated right jaw, and on my aching heart.

After the class we speak and Rajesh points out that, underneath it all, I'm probably quite an emotional person, and the reason why I cry (or cried) is because the emotion has no outlet and times like this meditation is when the mind and body are less in control-- so the emotion escapes.

I know its not mindblowing, what he said, but i have this sense that Rajesh gets it. We can't speak about it any longer because he's busy (and also $150 an hour!!!) and goodness knows, he ought to charge.

He just tells me to allow the emotion to surface tonight-- so we'll see. I find myself pining quite often for this sense of home and togetherness-- my moon must've been strong when I was born, if my astrology class yesterday is anything to go by. (not really, just btw).


Tonight's final activity was lighting our personal lanterns and making a wish on them. It was very cool. My 3 wishes kinda sucked, but it was totally spellbinding to watch these enormous paper lanterns, a bout a metre in height, rise up floating to meet the stars, each bearing the sincerest, deepest, even darkest, desires of a person.

The anonymity of it was beautiful, as was the notion. A tad romantic--sure. But i'm on a beach on a island in the Gulf of Thailand with the biggest most silent lanterns I've ever seen, all gently bouyed by hot air and looking like tentacle-less jellyfish...

I'm going to, at least for tonight, believe that those wishes are borne up to the stars. 

No comments: