Jan 28, 2013

Detox Diary #7: cresting an emotional wave

200712
2300

So this evening's when it gets slightly more interesting... I attend a mediation class with Rajesh [the resident guru figure] and its a pretty vigorous, forceful type of breathing, to awaken the body's deep spiritual energy.

We go through the 7 chakras, and the weirdest thing happens: at the 4th chakra, the heart chakra, as we breathe I find myself crying and not being able to stop.
I concentrate my hardest on all Rajesh is saying; the inhalations, exhalations; one, two, breathe; but i still feel unsettled.

After we go through all 7 chakras, we lie down-- and I'm positively vibrating with all the energy (yes actually), and we concentrate on ailments in the body and soul we want to heal, while he recites a soothing yet powerful mantra. It seems to come from a place of deep sorrow--but I suppose you must know pain and sorrow to know joy.

I place my right hand, in turn, on my busted right ankle, my weirdly dislocated right jaw, and on my aching heart.
----

After the class we speak and Rajesh points out that, underneath it all, I'm probably quite an emotional person, and the reason why I cry (or cried) is because the emotion has no outlet and times like this meditation is when the mind and body are less in control-- so the emotion escapes.

I know its not mindblowing, what he said, but i have this sense that Rajesh gets it. We can't speak about it any longer because he's busy (and also $150 an hour!!!) and goodness knows, he ought to charge.

He just tells me to allow the emotion to surface tonight-- so we'll see. I find myself pining quite often for this sense of home and togetherness-- my moon must've been strong when I was born, if my astrology class yesterday is anything to go by. (not really, just btw).

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Tonight's final activity was lighting our personal lanterns and making a wish on them. It was very cool. My 3 wishes kinda sucked, but it was totally spellbinding to watch these enormous paper lanterns, a bout a metre in height, rise up floating to meet the stars, each bearing the sincerest, deepest, even darkest, desires of a person.

The anonymity of it was beautiful, as was the notion. A tad romantic--sure. But i'm on a beach on a island in the Gulf of Thailand with the biggest most silent lanterns I've ever seen, all gently bouyed by hot air and looking like tentacle-less jellyfish...

I'm going to, at least for tonight, believe that those wishes are borne up to the stars. 

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