It seems that when it comes to personal relationships, the world is ever-too-quick to want us to tie ourselves down to labels. Facebook gives us a number of alternatives: Info-->Edit-->Relationships--> and you get presented with the usual "single", "married" and "in a relationship", to even include options that have traditionally been difficult to define, such as "its complicated". I mean really??? What's in a name?To be honest, I'm just waiting for the day they include "friends with benefits" as an option. Anyway, I actually wrote a piece about that (READ IT HERE) previously, and my conclusion after all that hemming and hawing was that it really is to each his or her own.
The question: Is it really necessary to box ourselves into a particular categorial relationship with a person, and along with that, its (unnecessary, i'd argue) accoutrements of sex and exclusivity and time spent and a host of other obligations? Labels are preconceived, and that's the heart of the issue. Our continued use of them just entrenches the roles and responsibilities tacked onto each label--and i'm not sure that's what I want. Of course i'm not talking about familial relationships--flesh and blood are the 2 things you really cant cut. Ok fine, Heidi Montag might contest the former, but blood? Man, that is for life. No question.
So now that that's out of the way, I personally prefer referring to these relationships as plainly, The Human Connection. If you prefer a catchier (read: with a vowel and hence pronounceable) acronym, let's go with The Human Experience. To be fair, 'connection' does presuppose the existence of the other person, whereas 'experience' can be solo--ask anyone with a vibrator. I MEAN, WHUT!?!? That never happened.
We interact with tens, hundreds of people on a daily basis. We're CONSTANTLY forming more relationships. The rule in practice is that all our relationships are valued based on relative closeness. To that end, we tend to measure interpersonal relationships on a pyramidal scale. I doubt anyone can successfully argue against the relativity point... and pursuant to that, how is it possible that we choose such a linear, check-the-boxes type of labelling, when really, everything is a matter of degree? I might be dating a few people at once, for instance, and forseeing varying levels of likelihood of an actual relationship with each-- then what do i label any of them? To-Be-Boyfriends? Dates? Prospectives? Do i tack on percentages for my own ease of monitoring?
This neatly brings me to my next point in favor of anti-labelling (see the positive spin there? HA.): non-exclusivity. You don't just have ONE prospective at a time... and let me clearly state now that i am pro-fidelity, pro-monogamy, etc etc etc. But what I'm saying is, labels force you into a corner where you limit the behavior to just that one person. Again, Facebook example: "in an open relationship with [insert name]". Anyone else find this a bit ironic? If you're in an open relationship, it really isn't with anyONE in particular is it? Also, just realized multiple consecutive questions make me sound ranty. (Right? Right?!?!?)
Ultimately, my issue with labels isn't the labels themselves, but our obsession with them. It doesn't matter what you want to be with someone-- it just is. You don't have to follow the rules and answer the questions about "so what ARE you guys, really?", or "what are WE?", etc etc. Sometimes, it's easier to just let things be.
After all, a rose by any other name is just as sweet.
Nov 26, 2010
that's my mac's wallpaper btw.
separately, will be tres busy from now on: in the midst of finals NOT EVEN FUNNY, followed by camp, then a monkeybunch of travelling for 6 weeks-- India, Sri Lanka, England. there's no way im remotely ready for any of the above, but you know. lemons, lemonade. i am really psyched to see my friends elsewhere in the world thou, so that's a major bright spark.
finally, the best summation of 2 years i enjoyed immensely:
(yea dont worry if you find it incomprehensible...my amazing friends wrote this and props if you can figure out which lines are attributable to me LOL)
HELLO! (waves) | we found a witch! may we burn her? |
| *gasp* globalization! | you shut up you! |
| she turned me into a newt! | obviously antithetical. | well done. |
| die. just die. | nnniiii! | ni ni ni ni ni! |
| oh my gawsh, you guys are sooooo |
| oH maH gaWsH, yOu gUys aRe sOoOoO |
| eh, you. shaaaaaadap. | eh, wonderwall wonderwall! |
| today is going to be the day that they're | NO PLEASE STOP |
| all off key la! | you're just jealous of my natural talent! *smirk* |
| go and die la. | eh change song leh, boring liao. |
| speed of sound! | nooo i want boulevard of broken songs! |
| eh you all grow up finish then call me ok? i'll be over there. |
| K bye. | nooo you're supposed to show some concern. |
| friend, this one called fist. you got try before? |
| wah lao dun liddat leh. | k la we go play basketball ok? |
| set! | but must sing wonderfull first! | wooo ok! |
| i close my eyes when i get too sad | wah chee raining leh! | *beep beep* |
Nov 16, 2010
so okay. i never intended for this to happen, but by the end of the few hours, i found myself at home, with 2 new pretty boxes. of shoes. again.
don't judge; sharing them online is my therapy.
iconic pretty blue box fastened with a black ribbon...
(unfortunately, they tend to be very flimsy- its frustrating. because i keep a majority of my shoes in their original boxes)
olive/khaki platform sandal with brass buckle closure. i really LOVE the block heel, cos its sturdy and also quite my style (nothing too dainty or princessy please!)
Perfect with rolledup jeans, a plain shirt, and chunky jewelry.
sorry about the suspect-looking white item. its just my ankle guard.
"what? your ankle's injured?", you ask. "how do you wear your heels!??!?!"-- cue look of morbid fascination-slash-incredulity.
Well the truth is it was just an old injury which will never fully heal, and i'll be damned if i relegate myself to flats and flipflops for the rest of my life for it.
so FOCUS. ON. THE. SHOES.
im so sorry for the horrible grainy pictures... karla has the same pair, so you can check them out HERE. obviously she actually has proper outfit posts because she is a REAL blogger not a lazy sloth like me who's doing this undercover sartorial thing while actually trying to cut it as a law student in real life. (i'm being serious. her photos are beautiful.... like such as... see below!)
yea, im incorrigible, i cant even muster the strength to get a proper photoshoot done. i'm sorry... but to help matters, i got this picture from her blog, cos i think it showcases the shoe and its detail a lot better. i mean, you cant compare the humble iphone camera to a DSLR!
u can see the 'pebbly' looking texture to the leather...it reminds me of balenciaga's distressed leather. i am really pleased with this pair of shoes. plus they make me TALL. score.
omg, i have trouble breathing when i see this still.
brown box with metal studs, black leather belt closure, "alaia" embossed on the belt. this is a really historic shoe for me in that i never EVER thought i would get a pair.
my first ever pair of alaias!!! thank you thank you mr azzedine alaia for your legacy and craftsmanship... i can just look at the shoe and feel satisfied that i have them. wearing not necessary!
confession: i take them out and stroke the ponyhair every few nights... true story.
so they are black suede+ponyhair, with a fantastic side profile.
yea whatever, ignore the minnie mouse in the background. i'm sentimental, wot can i say!?
but the best bit is of course the zebra-print ponyhair cap toe... replete with a small black patent bow (which is thankfully hardly even visible YAY no overt girliness).
the only REAL problem i foresee is, between ponyhair and suede, i can forget about wearing these except for really special occasions.
and sorry this one isnt clear but the heel with the same ponyhair, and the back with 3 patent "stitches". stroke. stroke.
they're also the most expensive shoes... erm. EVER, that i own. (think loubs are pricey? HA.) it took me a lot of vascillating and hemming & hawing before i decided to get them. my dad really thought these were quite unique so that really helped my decision. thanks mum and dad lol.
additionally, don't think i'll be buying anything for awhile. will be on hiatus due to exams! back in early december!
Nov 6, 2010
I'm nowhere near multilingual, let alone fluent in German, but i think the concept (very broadly and roughly!) is "Model School" as the title suggests-- learning how to dress up in tweed pants (hosen, yes?), jersey blouses/shirts, and ties.
I like the schoolboy aesthetic and circumspect androgynous accessorizing: fedoras (a bit done to death, but this is a fresh take on the hipster-studded-model-off-duty look thats SO over), ties, leather belts and boots, all topped off with a bare face, natural brows and unstyled hair.
Make-up & hair: Miriam Jacks; Photography: Edzard Plitz
They collaborated with producer Roman Goebel to shoot this fashion editorial for SCHWEIZER ILLUSTRIERTE Style, the most widely-read Swiss People magazine.
photo credit: GoSee