It seems that when it comes to personal relationships, the world is ever-too-quick to want us to tie ourselves down to labels. Facebook gives us a number of alternatives: Info-->Edit-->Relationships--> and you get presented with the usual "single", "married" and "in a relationship", to even include options that have traditionally been difficult to define, such as "its complicated". I mean really??? What's in a name?To be honest, I'm just waiting for the day they include "friends with benefits" as an option. Anyway, I actually wrote a piece about that (READ IT HERE) previously, and my conclusion after all that hemming and hawing was that it really is to each his or her own.
The question: Is it really necessary to box ourselves into a particular categorial relationship with a person, and along with that, its (unnecessary, i'd argue) accoutrements of sex and exclusivity and time spent and a host of other obligations? Labels are preconceived, and that's the heart of the issue. Our continued use of them just entrenches the roles and responsibilities tacked onto each label--and i'm not sure that's what I want. Of course i'm not talking about familial relationships--flesh and blood are the 2 things you really cant cut. Ok fine, Heidi Montag might contest the former, but blood? Man, that is for life. No question.
So now that that's out of the way, I personally prefer referring to these relationships as plainly, The Human Connection. If you prefer a catchier (read: with a vowel and hence pronounceable) acronym, let's go with The Human Experience. To be fair, 'connection' does presuppose the existence of the other person, whereas 'experience' can be solo--ask anyone with a vibrator. I MEAN, WHUT!?!? That never happened.
We interact with tens, hundreds of people on a daily basis. We're CONSTANTLY forming more relationships. The rule in practice is that all our relationships are valued based on relative closeness. To that end, we tend to measure interpersonal relationships on a pyramidal scale. I doubt anyone can successfully argue against the relativity point... and pursuant to that, how is it possible that we choose such a linear, check-the-boxes type of labelling, when really, everything is a matter of degree? I might be dating a few people at once, for instance, and forseeing varying levels of likelihood of an actual relationship with each-- then what do i label any of them? To-Be-Boyfriends? Dates? Prospectives? Do i tack on percentages for my own ease of monitoring?
This neatly brings me to my next point in favor of anti-labelling (see the positive spin there? HA.): non-exclusivity. You don't just have ONE prospective at a time... and let me clearly state now that i am pro-fidelity, pro-monogamy, etc etc etc. But what I'm saying is, labels force you into a corner where you limit the behavior to just that one person. Again, Facebook example: "in an open relationship with [insert name]". Anyone else find this a bit ironic? If you're in an open relationship, it really isn't with anyONE in particular is it? Also, just realized multiple consecutive questions make me sound ranty. (Right? Right?!?!?)
Ultimately, my issue with labels isn't the labels themselves, but our obsession with them. It doesn't matter what you want to be with someone-- it just is. You don't have to follow the rules and answer the questions about "so what ARE you guys, really?", or "what are WE?", etc etc. Sometimes, it's easier to just let things be.
After all, a rose by any other name is just as sweet.
Nov 26, 2010
that's my mac's wallpaper btw.
separately, will be tres busy from now on: in the midst of finals NOT EVEN FUNNY, followed by camp, then a monkeybunch of travelling for 6 weeks-- India, Sri Lanka, England. there's no way im remotely ready for any of the above, but you know. lemons, lemonade. i am really psyched to see my friends elsewhere in the world thou, so that's a major bright spark.
finally, the best summation of 2 years i enjoyed immensely:
(yea dont worry if you find it incomprehensible...my amazing friends wrote this and props if you can figure out which lines are attributable to me LOL)
HELLO! (waves) | we found a witch! may we burn her? |
| *gasp* globalization! | you shut up you! |
| she turned me into a newt! | obviously antithetical. | well done. |
| die. just die. | nnniiii! | ni ni ni ni ni! |
| oh my gawsh, you guys are sooooo |
| oH maH gaWsH, yOu gUys aRe sOoOoO |
| eh, you. shaaaaaadap. | eh, wonderwall wonderwall! |
| today is going to be the day that they're | NO PLEASE STOP |
| all off key la! | you're just jealous of my natural talent! *smirk* |
| go and die la. | eh change song leh, boring liao. |
| speed of sound! | nooo i want boulevard of broken songs! |
| eh you all grow up finish then call me ok? i'll be over there. |
| K bye. | nooo you're supposed to show some concern. |
| friend, this one called fist. you got try before? |
| wah lao dun liddat leh. | k la we go play basketball ok? |
| set! | but must sing wonderfull first! | wooo ok! |
| i close my eyes when i get too sad | wah chee raining leh! | *beep beep* |
Nov 16, 2010
so okay. i never intended for this to happen, but by the end of the few hours, i found myself at home, with 2 new pretty boxes. of shoes. again.
don't judge; sharing them online is my therapy.
iconic pretty blue box fastened with a black ribbon...
(unfortunately, they tend to be very flimsy- its frustrating. because i keep a majority of my shoes in their original boxes)
olive/khaki platform sandal with brass buckle closure. i really LOVE the block heel, cos its sturdy and also quite my style (nothing too dainty or princessy please!)
Perfect with rolledup jeans, a plain shirt, and chunky jewelry.
sorry about the suspect-looking white item. its just my ankle guard.
"what? your ankle's injured?", you ask. "how do you wear your heels!??!?!"-- cue look of morbid fascination-slash-incredulity.
Well the truth is it was just an old injury which will never fully heal, and i'll be damned if i relegate myself to flats and flipflops for the rest of my life for it.
so FOCUS. ON. THE. SHOES.
im so sorry for the horrible grainy pictures... karla has the same pair, so you can check them out HERE. obviously she actually has proper outfit posts because she is a REAL blogger not a lazy sloth like me who's doing this undercover sartorial thing while actually trying to cut it as a law student in real life. (i'm being serious. her photos are beautiful.... like such as... see below!)
yea, im incorrigible, i cant even muster the strength to get a proper photoshoot done. i'm sorry... but to help matters, i got this picture from her blog, cos i think it showcases the shoe and its detail a lot better. i mean, you cant compare the humble iphone camera to a DSLR!
u can see the 'pebbly' looking texture to the leather...it reminds me of balenciaga's distressed leather. i am really pleased with this pair of shoes. plus they make me TALL. score.
omg, i have trouble breathing when i see this still.
brown box with metal studs, black leather belt closure, "alaia" embossed on the belt. this is a really historic shoe for me in that i never EVER thought i would get a pair.
my first ever pair of alaias!!! thank you thank you mr azzedine alaia for your legacy and craftsmanship... i can just look at the shoe and feel satisfied that i have them. wearing not necessary!
confession: i take them out and stroke the ponyhair every few nights... true story.
so they are black suede+ponyhair, with a fantastic side profile.
yea whatever, ignore the minnie mouse in the background. i'm sentimental, wot can i say!?
but the best bit is of course the zebra-print ponyhair cap toe... replete with a small black patent bow (which is thankfully hardly even visible YAY no overt girliness).
the only REAL problem i foresee is, between ponyhair and suede, i can forget about wearing these except for really special occasions.
and sorry this one isnt clear but the heel with the same ponyhair, and the back with 3 patent "stitches". stroke. stroke.
they're also the most expensive shoes... erm. EVER, that i own. (think loubs are pricey? HA.) it took me a lot of vascillating and hemming & hawing before i decided to get them. my dad really thought these were quite unique so that really helped my decision. thanks mum and dad lol.
additionally, don't think i'll be buying anything for awhile. will be on hiatus due to exams! back in early december!
Nov 6, 2010
I'm nowhere near multilingual, let alone fluent in German, but i think the concept (very broadly and roughly!) is "Model School" as the title suggests-- learning how to dress up in tweed pants (hosen, yes?), jersey blouses/shirts, and ties.
I like the schoolboy aesthetic and circumspect androgynous accessorizing: fedoras (a bit done to death, but this is a fresh take on the hipster-studded-model-off-duty look thats SO over), ties, leather belts and boots, all topped off with a bare face, natural brows and unstyled hair.
Make-up & hair: Miriam Jacks; Photography: Edzard Plitz
They collaborated with producer Roman Goebel to shoot this fashion editorial for SCHWEIZER ILLUSTRIERTE Style, the most widely-read Swiss People magazine.
photo credit: GoSee
Oct 31, 2010
so i realize how un-personal Life In Technicolor has become, and because i find myself stuck in a bit of a rut, i'm just gonna look back on the past 4 months since i got back from Sydney.
doubles up as an uber-cheater outfit post.
DKNY chiffon top/H&M black jeans
miss sixty bronze dress
so time's been spent hanging out with friends who've spent time here and have left it behind...i've definitely come to see that people come and go; its just a fact of life. not everyone's able to process this concept well, but i figure now that the faster you learn this, the better.
michael kors knit top
this was when i turned 22; i never thought i'd go beyond 21 to be honest. but time bears upon us in a way that we either fight (fruitlessly, of course), or embrace. so with a mojito in hand, i choose the latter. 22 was chilled out for me--those were literally the only 2 drinks i had at the venue, and the group was small but i had fun still.
of course, each summer hoardes of friends descend back on the sunny shores of this tiny island, and believe me when i say that nothing else brings me quite as much pleasure as being with these people all over again. the juvenility of it all is delightful--picking a posh hotel lobby in which to smuggle alcohol in while security marches about in precariously close proximity.
and as you can see, i got my hair done! (or hair DID... lol).
it wasn't quite a highlight job as it was a multi-colored dye job. i'm pretty pleased with how my colorist did it and even now, 3 months on, you dont see roots as much as you see dimension. (roots r a big pet peeve of mine, although yes i know bottle blondes like jen aniston pull it off real well.)
topshop multi bandeau
this was a wonderful generous opportunity offered by some friends who wanted to leave with a bang. so we did it, some 57 stories up in the air, overlooking the entire business district. its something i wont easily forget, and i spent some quiet time just looking over the expanse of the city. this photo doesnt do it justice of course.
then we also sit around, talk smack, play silly games, etc... typical stuff.
warehouse dress which i wore a year prior at my 21st(!!!)
and one of the benefits of being asian is topping human pyramids. i have a friend obsessed with these, but i dont think he'll ever see this. HA.
side note: oooo colored hair! see, its an appropriate indicator of chronology.
but for everyone that comes and goes, there are some who always remain.
massimo dutti top/mcqueen bangle
i never liked the word "girlfriends", because i just think its way too trite and overused. but this would be the closest i have to some kinda sisterhood. (EEP. sappy factor defo going up.)
thrift finds-- this is wot we call 70s fashion
and of course, the HUGE undertaking, the months of work, all of which culminated in the weekend of LAW IV. i'd say it was the most fulfilled i've been, artistically, since my theatre studies days where studying the Greek playwrights, European history, and English literary greats gave me personal satisfaction like nothing i've found since.
of course, the drunken aftermath HAD to be caught on tape, and while amusement is wot u see on our faces, oh the horror was definitely a refrain to be chanted.
a lawyer's story
in many ways, ending 4 years of academic study with soemthing so ordinarily beyond the realm of the law (i see little dichotomy between the 2, but thats honestly just me) was proof that entering the Big Bad World needn't be cause for worry...
at least not if you have friends like these.
you know how there are some experiences in life you cant go through without becoming friends? (like if you shoot a film together, or get stuck in an elevator or something)...
well there are also some friends in life you cant have without making every experience amazing.
its all written on our faces: life is
Oct 24, 2010
Bryan Adams (yes, him of "baby you're all that i want" fame) photographed the contrasting looks of supermodel Tatjana Patitz and comedic actor Michael J. Fox in New York for the ZEISS art calendar 2011.
Clearly, what 3 of them have in common is a feelgood sense of humor.
The German group of companies will produce limited run of 1,000 copies and allow a privileged hand-picked crowd to take a sneak peek at the Haus der Photographie in the Deichtorhallen Hamburg in this month.
I love how Mr Adams found such a plethora of different everyday settings in which he could insert and amalgamate
- the glamor of the celeb life,
- big-city-awe of NYC, and
- the supposedly vertically-coerced power play.
Cheeky, witty and able not to take itself too seriously, 2011 will be quite the year for those 1000 lucky folk. Defo a collector's item for keeps!!!
well played, Bryan Adams.
yea thats what she looks like in real life, for those who (kindly!) asked.
Oct 1, 2010
Sep 19, 2010
on everyone's fashion radar this week is CFDA/Vogue Fashion Awards 2008 finalist alejandro ingelmo, who celebrates his first boutique opening! replete with light boxes, full-length mirrors and walls lined with ornate shoe boxes (YES! cleverly designed wall-to-wall storage!), his SoHo address is sure to attract the hipsters that do (and don't) already know about his sexy shoe aesthetic.
the man himself-- wot a looker!
hailing from a family of shoemakers, the fourth-generation shoemaker ingelmo chose to keep the feel of his boutique nostalgic in a respectful nod to his heritage. that simplicity of design gets a sophisticated lift with modern accents (above!!!). Apt then, that his store is located on the lower level of a Wooster St brownstone--with a discreet sign merely saying "shop".
BUT ON TO THE MAIN ATTRACTION: HIS CREATIONS.
ingelmo's signature are towering, sexy, fetishist strappy creations which first got him noticed by the fickle fashion insiders who passed them onto their celebrity clients, giving him even more visibility.
but he has recently expanded his collection to include a robust selection of casual-cool flats.
of particular note would be his burgeoning men's collection, which has been garnering RAVE reviews approaching cult status of covetability. no pictures because i'm not that into menswear or shoes, but suffice to say his sneakers are FLY.
Another most exciting collaboration (i'll just leave out H&M x Lanvin because i have no way of getting my hands on any pieces given that there is no H&M boutique in Singers...) is between my favorite ballet flat label repetto and the ever-hip, eternally-cool Opening Ceremony. While i favor their simple classic black flats, OF COURSE they would be funkily reincarnated for the hipster boutique.
Hopefully on pedder bring some in to Singapore-- although i was just there last week and only silver and gold repettos are in stock at the moment. BOO HOO.
picture credits: rantingsofashopaholic, newyorkmag, style.com